October 31, 2011

Dear family,

It's good to hear from you! And I'm glad you enjoyed my letters :) I just try to send you what I can whenever I have the time. Remember this: I love ya!

Another week, another preparation day! Boy, sometimes it seems like years until the next preparation day, and other times it seems like a snap of the fingers. This week it was both. It didn't seem like I emailed you that long ago, and yet this week seemed to drag on forever.

First of all, you have to know that our investigator pool has been dropping like crazy lately. I haven't mentioned too many investigators the past few weeks because there really are none left. It's very disappointing to see people just not care anymore. As Elder Capitan came in, a bunch of our investigators were dropping off because of no interest, lack of keeping commitments, etc. It's actually quite the sad deal :( To make a long story short, I've been doing well, and I'm still happy, but the lack of investigators has really been weighing down on me and making me a little depressed. It's kinda tuff when you don't have any set appointments!

So we've been hitting the pavement. Big time. This past week we went through a whole list of potentials and a bunch of former investigators from a couple of years ago. This, combined with barely any miles left on our vehicle (which we share with the other elders) means that we had to put in the miles on our bikes. I've already gotten used to biking a lot (it was a full-bike when I first came here), but we rode ourselves into the ground. Man, my legs are so sore! But I'll survive. At least I feel like I've accomplished something this week...

It's tough to deal with rejection. Boy do I hate rejection. People in Springdale, AR just don't care! Maybe we're going to all the wrong houses... This coming week we're planning on tracting our guts out, and so I'm not too excited. It seems like I'm getting to the point on my mission where I'm no longer the little guy who barely knows anything. I have a big responsibility and a lot is expected of me. No more tagging along with Mr. Senior Companiero. I just feel kinda trapped and it's frustrating sometimes. Missions are hard! Why didn't anyone tell me this before??? haha jk, I knew it would be hard :) It's just all hitting me at once, you know? It's not a little summer camp. It's the real deal. 20% of a decade. 2 years sure seems like a long time... I hope it doesn't sound like I'm complaining all the time. I'm just learning a lot, and real fast at that. To be quite honest, I'm really out of my comfort zone. Heavenly Father is sure whippin' me into shape for something.

But don't worry. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. And that is preparation day :) Your letters and emails keep me sane. And hearing about April just makes me giddy! Thank you so much for sending me her email! I can't wait until she emails/mails me herself. I can't believe that she's already out in the field, doing missionary work. There's two of us! Two Atkins, "stopping the world" as my MTC president would say. I'm sure she's loving it so much already. I'm glad you had a good cry after you talked to her. Phone calls from your missionaries must've been precious moments.

Man, I haven't really had much to say lately. Like I said, there aren't really any investigators to talk about. We have a few potentials that we set return appointments with, so I'll update you next week. Betty's family looked so promising, but we just can't get a hold of them anymore. What did I do wrong?? I know it wasn't all my fault, but Satan's really good at making me feel that way sometimes.

Okay, I'm done venting to y'all. Life's good in the OTM!!! :) And it sounds like life is good back home. I really wish I could hug you all right now. I miss you! I miss my friends a lot too. I wish I could've been to Stake Conference so I could've seen President Monson speak! That's a way cool story that he shared.

Mom, I'm so proud of you for being a missionary. I'm so overjoyed to hear that you were able to share your testimony with someone who wasn't a member, even if you didn't know it at the time. I like to imagine you or dad in my place. Mom and Dad, tracting in Springdale, Arkansas :) Thanks for the words of advice and comfort. It really does help A LOT. While there may be negative forces trying to attract my attention, the good forces always prevail and give me strength. I know you're all praying for me, and I know that I can always count on you for support.

The Lord is shaping me. Little by little he's making me into the missionary that I've dreamed of becoming. It hurts sometimes! But the outcome feels oh so good!

I love you and I know this gospel's true. I plan on being more intersesting in my letters in the future, but I hope you know that I have a solid witness. My testimony is unbreakeable. My will to serve the Lord is as sharp as a knife. Satan can't get me down, because I know this is true with all my heart.

It's time to hit the pavement. It's time to bring souls to Christ. It's my time!!! (epic music) Tell everyone hi for me! I'll talk to you more later.

Love, love, love,
Elder Atkin

P.S. Here's me in my biking legit-ness. Enjoy!